


Carpe Diem

by greenikat89



Category: Invader Zim
Genre: Alternate Universe - College/University, Complicated Relationships, Developing Friendships, Gen, M/M, Past Abuse, Romantic Friendship, Secret Identity, Therapy
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-08-22
Updated: 2019-12-28
Packaged: 2020-09-23 19:58:04
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 5
Words: 8,958
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20345851
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/greenikat89/pseuds/greenikat89
Summary: Time.  Time made Zim realize that his original plan to overtake the Earthenoids  wasn’t working because he didn’t blend in.  Time helped him evaluate that he wasn’t considered ‘normal’ to the meat bags, which was why he couldn’t easily manipulate them to bend to his will.  Time lead to self-reflection that although those disgusting sacks of flesh were stupid and just begging to be destroyed, even they noticed there was something wrong with him.So Zim had left, packing up his home base and taking GIR with him to move as far away as possible from that horrific place where the Dib dwelled.  Time quietly slipped away, and during that period Zim had carefully crafted a new look, a new name, and a new plan to take over the world.It was all just a matter of time.





	1. Prologue

**Author's Note:**

> So this is an oooold abandoned work I did back when Invader Zim was still on the air ten years ago. I recently watched the Netflix movie and got hit with nostalgia. Therefore, I'm revamping my work that was on ff.net adding chapters and working to finally finish this. 
> 
> Does not follow the plot of Enter the Florpus. Some of the aspects of the movie have been what I've written years ago, and some of the events in this story are inspired by the movie. But you definitely don't need to watch the movie or know much about Invader Zim to read the story.

#  **Prologue**

Time. Time made Zim realize that his original plan to overtake the Earthenoids wasn’t working because he didn’t blend in. Time helped him evaluate that he wasn’t considered ‘normal’ to the meat bags, which was why he couldn’t easily manipulate them to bend to his will. Time lead to self-reflection that although those disgusting sacks of flesh were stupid and just _ begging _ to be destroyed, even _ they _ noticed there was something wrong with him.

Zim should have realized this. He was an Irken invader; he was a _ master _ at blending in. And yet he hadn’t. Time marched on and with each hideous passage of Earth years he had to tell The Tallests that he hadn’t taken over just yet, that all he needed was a little more time for the humans to accept him as their rightful leader. The _ humiliation _ that Zim, the _ greatest _ Irken elite who had been a leading commander in Impending Doom I, hadn’t even taken over the pathetic little town he inhabited rankled the alien like no other.

Time after time the Dib monkey would thwart Zim’s ingenious plans and flaunt the failures in his face that the human race had survived another day. Dib’s smelly mouth was filled with dirty _ lies _ as the pitiful human laughed that Zim would never amount to anything. That Zim would always lose because he wasn’t smart enough. Such… such _ emotion _ had swelled throughout Zim’s body like the nuclear force of radioactive rubber pants at the remark every time he failed. Again.

And again.

And again.

And _ again. _

But not this time. Zim _ would _ blend in and he _ would _ conquer the rotting ball of _ disease _ and its disgusting weak little worms. All he had to do was take more notes, observe the information, and create a newer, better disguise.

So Zim had left, packing up his home base and taking GIR with him to move as far away as possible from that horrific place where the Dib dwelled. Zim ended up in a busy city filled with billions of pathetic people, which suited his tastes just fine. Here, it was okay to look a little different. No one remarked upon the mannerisms he couldn’t quite suppress because everyone acted a little crazy. Everyone _ was _crazy. Time quietly slipped away, and during that period Zim had carefully crafted a new look, a new name, and a new plan to take over the world.

It was all just a matter of time.


	2. The (Horrible) Beginning

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Beta'd by me. I've gone over it a million times but if you see any spelling errors or mistakes please let me know. :)

#  **Chapter 1: The (Horrible) Beginning**

“GIR, I don’t have  _ time _ for this!” Zim yelled. The little robot wildly ran around the small living room with a pair of pants tied around his shoulders in a makeshift cape. Zim’s very new, very expensive pants that he bought with money from his horrible job at Bloaty’s Pizza Hog. It paid well enough to make rent for his human base of operations and he was good at it. The technology was much less advanced than the ones at Foodcourtia, and some of the devices at Bloaty’s were things he’d tinkered with as a smeet. Pathetic.

“But I’mma superhero!” GIR screamed. He careened wildly into a sagging couch and bounced into a table. “I wanna save the world!” his tinny voice rose above the crash of a ceramic lamp shattering on the floor. 

“GIIIRRR,  _ obey _ your master!” Zim chased after the robot, tripping over the overturned coffee table and sprawling across the stained carpeted floor. “And we don’t want to  _ save  _ the world, we want to  _ destroy  _ it!” 

He growled in frustration when GIR suddenly turned left and slid under the couch before he could grab onto the robot. Why was GIR always so  _ difficult _ ? Spider legs shot out of Zim’s PAK to easily assist him in overtaking the wayward unit. He snatched back his pants and retracted his mechanical legs. “Why don’t you go watch TV or something?” he spat out.

“Oookie-dokie!” the robot chirped, doing a backflip onto the pink loveseat and flicking on the TV. “Monkey!” 

Screaming laughter followed Zim as he stalked back to his room to finish changing. “Even after all my research I still can’t make you normal,” he groused and slammed the bedroom door behind him. The robot’s disguise still looked like a tiny dog with a big head, but at least GIR was yellow this time. He told his neighbors that GIR was a robotic dog he’d built. It had helped quell the suspicious looks directed at him whenever he took the robot outside on missions. The humans thought he was a mechanical toy genius. It explained away the odd exploding noises that floated up through the apartment building whenever GIR ruined an experiment. Stupid, gullible humans.

Zim kicked off his sleeping pants onto the floor where it was picked up by a mechanical hand to and dropped into the laundry shoot. At least  _ he _ looked the part now as one of those moody youths at the local community college he attended. He had used their own technology against them to gather information on how to blend in. There were so many different types of disgusting bags of meat with their weird clothing and horrible extra limbs. It had taken a while to settle on a look that would work to disappear into the crowd without Zim wanting to vomit every time he caught sight of his human self in a mirror. But now his disguise was perfect.

His human synth-skin gloves always went on first. They conformed to his limbs and fit up to the bend in his arms. It had taken a while to create them with extra mechanical digits (why did humans have so  _ many _ ?) that gave him five harmlessly rounded fingers. It disgusted him, but he had to keep reminding himself it was necessary to play the part and to do it  _ well _ . The gloves were outfitted with schmillions of tiny sensors that he could adjust the sensitivity of it at will.

His closet held an array of black or red fiddly button shirts and dark colored long sleeved undershirts. The colors were influenced by his Irken invader uniform because he could never stomach the bright, garish colors humans seemed to like. He pulled out a top at random, slipping on the undershirt before doing up half the buttons on a maroon colored outer layer. Little silver cufflinks buttoned his sleeves, each with a tiny microchip that was useful for recording sounds when lightly clacked together.

Black boxers came next followed by the dark wash jeans he’d snatched from GIR. (The boxers were necessary after discovering how much the rough human materials of jeans chafed. Oh, the  _ chafing,  _ how he hated it so.) He clipped a chain to his belt loop and slipped the other end in his back pocket to keep his mini holo-pad secure.

“Computer, tell me the time,” Zim demanded and quickly glued his ears on. Each ear was adorned with many small silver hoops and other piercings he’d seen humans have. The Earth jewelry doubled as a listening device so he could filter conversations and even sound decibels if he wanted to. A prosthetic nose with an additional piercing followed afterwards. It was always such an annoyance having it constantly in his line of sight. How did humans  _ function  _ with so many distractions? 

“Ughhhh, why should I care?” the voice grumbled with a heavy sigh. “Time is an illusion anyway.”

“I don’t need illusions, I need the  _ time _ !” Zim snapped. “Tell me what it is before I illusion  _ you  _ somewhere else.” His black wig was lying innocently on his dresser on its stand. He carefully picked it up, making sure his antennas lay flat, before putting it on. It was a much better looking wig than before. It was a shaggy cut with long, choppy bangs that fell into his eyes and shorter spikier hair in the back that brushed the nape of his neck.

“That doesn’t even make sense.”

Two slender mechanical arms came down from the ceiling and popped in his brown colored contacts. “What was that?” Zim asked distractedly while rubbing his eyes. He had changed the color to fit in more, but they were still so  _ itchy.  _

“I said the time is: 7:30am.”

“I’m going to be late!” Zim yelped. He used the same glue that affixed his ears to anchor down his wig so it wouldn’t move. The last thing he did was buckle his leather collar necklace. He pressed a hidden button on the underside that turned his body as pale as his human gloves so everything seamlessly blended together. “Why didn’t you tell me earlier?” His voice was smoother, deeper and less prone to cracking with the voice modulator turned on. It was a very good collar. Of course it was, Zim was a  _ genius _ . 

“I’m not your caretaker,” replied the computer in a sullen voice.

Zim grumbled and threw open his bedroom door. His black Irken combat boots were in the kitchen and he tugged them on; it was the only part of his outfit he hadn’t changed. Even his PAK had been recolored black to disguise it as a cloth backpack when it wasn’t hidden with a cloaking command.

“GIR, I'm going out!” he yelled above the blaring of the television. His eyes narrowed as the closing credits of the ‘Angry Monkey Show’ began to play. How he hated that monkey. “Stay here and guard the house!” He heard GIR give an affirmative before Zim shut the door behind him. All seventeen locks clicked into place behind him assuring Zim that his lair was secure. 

It was time to go to skool.

\---

“Hello, IZ!” a chorus of girls greeted Zim at the front gates of Community College Skool for Learninz and Stuff.

He barely acknowledged them as he marched up the sidewalk and through the main doors of the skool, although inwardly he smirked at the simpering fools. His name had been a stroke of luck on GIR’s part. Zim needed a new name to go with his new identity so he wouldn’t be connected to his old self. The robot had suggested ‘IZ’ to sound more mysterious.

Zim had scoffed at the idea at first before he had time to really think about it. Invader Zim. IZ. It was fitting for his new position as a reclusive but steadily powerful figure in the skool. Oh so powerful. He was regarded by the student body with awe and just a touch of fear. He never talked to anyone, acted cold to the very few he did acknowledge, and yet somehow he was immensely popular. People deferred to his wishes and generally went out of their way so they wouldn’t displease him.

Despite the loud chatter of dirty young humans crowding the hallways, Zim was able to effortlessly stride towards his first class without getting jostled amid the chaos. The crowds instantly parted and melted to the side for him wherever he walked. Power was good. Power was  _ very  _ good.

His eyes caught a flyer with his name embellished on it in crimson, spidery handwriting on a black background. The very best part of it all was the power he had over the small little skool. This… institution had a student governing body. Zim was President of it. He had used his speaking skills (when he preferred to use them) to charm over the ignorant crowd with empty promises and honeyed lies. It was easy to win, of  _ course  _ it was. He was  _ ZIM _ . And after he graduated from this filthy skool, he would continue upwards in politics amassing more power until he was President of this pathetic country. From there he would become Dictator of the world and rule with an iron fist. And then finally,  _ finally,  _ he would present The Tallests with the conquered mud ball of a planet. It was a long term plan but he had time; Irkens didn’t age as fast as humans.

So lost in thought, Zim wasn’t watching where he was going and rammed into someone hard enough to send both of them sprawling to the floor. His hand automatically shot up to his head out of long habit to make sure his hair was in place. “Who dares knock into  _ me _ ?” he growled out, furious for being on the filthy floor now that he knew his disguise was still in place.

Zim was roughly pulled to his feet and the alien scowled, shoving away from the human’s touch as he straightened his clothes. “Don’t touch me,” he snapped.

“Shit, sorry about that,” a horribly familiar voice said.

He knew that voice. Zim’s head snapped up, eyes widening in shock. It. Couldn’t.  _ Be _ ! 

“I didn’t mean to bowl you over.” The stink beast resettled his round glasses on his nose. “I'm Dib.”


	3. An Infection of the Mind

#  **Chapter 2: An Infection of the Mind**

Zim’s whole body tensed up. What? What was  _ he  _ doing here,  _ thousands _ of miles away from where Zim had left his old life behind? Terror wormed its way into Zim’s splorch. Had the Dib  _ followed  _ him here? Impossible! His gaze swept over his nemesis, looking for any sign that the human saw through his disguise while he quickly cataloguing what the years have done to Dib.

Disappointingly, the goblin hadn’t changed much for the worse. He was still wearing that flappy black coat thingy and blue shirt. His hair was a little longer although it was still in that ridiculous looking scythe shape. What had really changed was the boy’s height; he had finally grown into that gargantuan head of his so he looked almost normal. (Not as normal as  _ Zim  _ of course.) 

As much as Zim had done his best to change his outward appearance, pure luck had made his insides change. He had grown taller, yes,  _ finally  _ he was taller than most Irkens but not nearly as tall as The Tallests. (Never as tall as his mighty Tallests, may they rule tall and true forever.) However, Dib still towered over him. There was  _ practically  _ a whole  _ smeet’s  _ difference between them. It infuriated him on a level he could barely contain. 

“I do not care for your name,” Zim sneered. There wasn’t a flicker of recognition in Dib’s stupid face, and the alien felt tension leaving his body. He was safe. At least for now.

He turned around to go, brain already whirring with possible implications of what the Dib could do to his carefully thought out plans when a weight settled on his shoulder. He froze, carefully turning his head to hatefully glare up into brown eyes. How  _ dare _ the filth touch him,  _ hhhhiiimmmmmm _ ? The  _ greatest _ of ALL Irkens!

The wretched human looked unfazed by his glare. “Look, I'm sorry,” Dib apologized hastily. The hand dropped from Zim’s shoulder. “I recently moved here and-”

“Stop your noise making,” Zim interrupted tersely with a slashing motion. “I don’t have time for you.” His eyes caught on the Dib’s alien belt buckle. If the human was still into his para-whatever beliefs then that could be very troublesome for him.

The doors in the hallway all slammed open signaling the change of classes before Dib could reply. (Not that Zim  _ cared  _ what the Dib monkey had to say at  _ all _ .) Zim used his height to his advantage to get lost in the crowd and far,  _ far  _ away from his biggest problem in the universe. He would deal with Dib later.

\---

Dib was still mulling over the no-name short boy during his third class of the day. He idly doodled in the margins of his notebook, not paying any attention to the mechanical engineering seminar. Nothing being taught in class was interesting when he had been building spy bots and fixing up alien spaceships since his middle skool years. But that boy was the first interesting being to catch his attention since Zim.

He hadn’t realized until the alien left how Zim had added purpose to his life. It made going to skool as a social outcast a little more bearable. He was challenged to think faster, be  _ better,  _ plan harder to keep up with Zim’s alien technology in order to capture him. Then he could prove once and for all to the world that Zim was an alien. Dib had done his best work in paranormal sciences trying to one up the alien, and without that constant challenge he had found he didn’t have that same spark to research in the field. His activity in the Swollen Eyeball had dropped considerably within the first month of Zim’s disappearance. His grades in skool plummeted as did his chances of getting into a top STEM college. No one would take him after his disastrous four years of hi skool (and then an even bigger disaster during his gap years trying to get his wreck of a life back on track) which was why he was here sitting in the back of a no-name community college in a class he could have aced as a toddler. Dib tried not to look too closely as to why that had happened.

He went back to his pen drawing to add a space ship in the starry night. The vessel was firing down lasers at a burning town that was mostly rubble. An alien that looked remarkably like Zim was laughing maniacally over the chaos, and unbidden Dib’s thoughts turned back once again to his old rival. He wondered where the alien had gone, if he was still alive. 

The place where the pink and green monstrosity Zim called a house was gone. The lawn gnomes and other decorations that had been in the front yard had disappeared. The only evidence that anyone had ever been there was a faint square imprint in the brown, dead grass where the house had sat and a small metal Irken emblem lying forgotten in the street. 

Dib had picked it up upon impulse, pocketing the only thing left behind from his nemesis that had tormented him through his early childhood years. He now wore it around his neck looped on a chain and tucked safely under his shirt. The cool metal was a comforting light weight against his chest. He hadn’t taken it off since that night he’d found it, although he couldn’t explain why. Perhaps it was his last link to the first alien he’d ever met. Maybe a symbol of his lost childhood. Or maybe he was just as crazy as his former classmates had always insisted.

He pushed his thoughts away when the instructor snapped off the projector, signaling the end of class. The doodle was slipped between the pages of his notebook before being shoved at the bottom of his backpack. The low chatter of students swirled around him as he pushed through the crowds to his assigned long distance commuter locker. It made him feel like he was in hi skool again, but there was something comfortingly familiar about twirling open the lock, dropping his stuff, and grabbing his paper bag lunch.

His footsteps carried him down twisting hallways and crowded classrooms to the only dining hall on campus. The noisy room made his steps falter at the doorway, unsure of where to sit. It was a childish old fear that rose within him even though he was well past the age of being a child. He had always sat alone at skool for as long as he could remember. On rare occasions his sister would grudgingly sit at the same table as him but as far away as possible while she played video games. It hadn’t bothered him too much at the time because finding new ways to torture Zim had occupied his mind. (Remember the muffin incident? Yeah… just remember that muffin. Good times. Gooood times.) But when Zim had left it… that was a different story. His sister had mellowed out in hi skool and been friendly to him, but she was still his sister and was only there out of obligation. It wasn’t the same.

Despite his best efforts to tell himself that he didn’t care, Dib didn’t want to start a new chapter in his life surrounded by silence again. In college you could reinvent yourself because no one knew who you were, and that was something appealing to him. He’d promised his dad that as part of their agreement for Dib to live alone and away from home that he would at least  _ try  _ to make friends with people instead of isolating himself like he had during his early teen years. It had been such a blurry time as an angry, paranoid recluse and he honestly couldn’t remember all of it. Too much drinking, too many drugs, too much watching and waiting for… for  _ something  _ to happen that would fill up the gaping void left inside him when Z-. 

But that was in the past. He was better now, much better. And it didn’t hurt to try, right?

Right.

Steeling his resolve he tamped down that old fear and sealed it tight. He could do this. He wasn’t a kid anymore. The muffled sounds of conversations grew louder when he shouldered open the double doors to the eating hall. There were many groups of happy people laughing and fooling around as they ate acting like, well, typical young adults who had just graduated from hi skool but still clung to their familiar social hierarchy groups. Dib could see where the divisions were and which groups had more power than others. It frustrated him because college wasn’t supposed to be like hi skool. 

Maybe he wasn’t that desperate for human companionship. Before he turned around to leave, his eye caught a nearly empty table at the far end of the dining hall near the windows. His eyes lit up. It was that mysterious boy from that morning, and it looked like he was sitting all by himself. Maybe they could be weirdos together. (So perhaps he clung onto some hi skool sentiments as well. It wasn’t that big of a deal.)

He walked across the hall towards the corner of the room. “Hey,” Dib greeted as he dropped down across from the pale boy. “Do you mind if I sit here?” Someone had scribbled  _ It’s a frightening world to be alone in  _ on the table with black Sharpie and then someone else had violently scratched it out. 

“Yes.” Everything about the boy screamed tense from his spiky response to the way he held his body.

“Well then I’m just going to eat here anyway, and we can just be two people who happen to be sitting at the same table but not talking to each other eating at the same time,” he said. His years of being bullied had cultivated an excellent snark response as defense.

“I don’t need your pity,” the boy muttered.

“It’s not,” Dib said in a genuine tone while pulling out his sandwich, “but since you’re sitting all alone and all the other tables are filled we might as well sit together.”

“You’ll get your germs over me.” His body was still tensed in a defensive position. 

“What are you, five?” Dib scoffed before taking a bite of ham on rye. He comfortably settled in his seat, crossing his feet at the ankles and resting his chin in the palm of his hand. “There’s plenty of room and I swear I won’t bite.” He unscrewed the cap of his water bottle. “Much.” He smirked. “Want a sip?”

Fear flashed through the boy’s eyes. “No!” He crossed his arms over his narrow chest. The posture reminded Dib of a small, curled up porcupine. He had to keep a small smile from rising up to his face. The boy still glared at him as if reading Dib’s reaction anyway. “Keep your filthy germs to yourself before I crack open your head and use your brain for experimentation.”

Dib laughed, rolling the bottle between his hands. A delicately warm feeling unfurled in his chest. He couldn’t say why he already liked the surly boy. There was something familiar about the biting tone that comforted him (and what did  _ that  _ say about his psyche that he gravitated towards the most difficult people?). “Ah, a fellow scientist,” he said, secretly pleased that there was another one like him. Maybe they could do research together and explore the stars. 

“Something like that.” The boy twitched, hands fiddling with the tab of his soda.

“Well, we can be scientists. Dr. Dib and lab assistant…” Dib trailed off in expectation because he still didn’t know the boy’s name.

It seemed like the prompt wasn’t taken. The boy scowled before he abruptly stood up. “I’ve had enough of your presence,” he said tersely. “And I wouldn’t be your  _ lab assistant _ .” The last was tossed over his shoulder as the boy march straight-backed out of the dining hall.

Oh, well that could be fun. Something about him itched at Dib’s consciousness that begged to be discovered. His sister would have told him to leave it alone if she were here but…well, she wasn’t. (She’d landed a paid internship at a huge gaming company out west and Dib wasn’t jealous of her, really he wasn’t. Really. It was nice that at least  _ one  _ of them hadn’t completely screwed up their life.)

Dib ate the rest of his sandwich in four large bites before cleaning up. It looked like he had just found a new mysterious interest in his life. It wasn’t a Mysterious Mysteries one but it was something. And after a long while of nothing,  _ anything  _ was appealing to him. It was time to put his research skills to work. The first thing he was going to do was find out that boy’s name. 


	4. Ask Not for Whom the Glorksnak Screeches

#  **Chapter 3: Ask Not for Whom the Glorksnak Screeches**

Zim’s hands clenched and unclenched into tight fists as he stalked back to his home. The Dib had unsettled him so badly when he had first ran into the human, and _ then _ Dib sat with him at the Earth food court? How _ dare _ he? Zim still hadn’t recovered yet. Why had the Dib come to the city? Why to _ this _ skool? How had the boy found him? And what was Zim going to do _ now _?

All his plans would be _ ruined _ if that Earth monkey found out who he really was. It had taken years for Zim to get to where he was today, spreading his influence around the skool in order to subjugate them to his wishes. He couldn’t afford to lose it. The Dib could undo _ everything _ with his infuriating, blundering ways if Zim wasn’t careful.

“GIR!” he yelled, kicking the front door to his apartment shut before unbuckling his boots. “I'm going to my lab.”

“You’re home!” the robot squealed. He popped out of a pile of nachos that were sitting on the couch in front of the TV. “I made these for you.” He stuck a handful of chips in his mouth before holding up the plate towards Zim. “I thought you were gonna have a baaaaaad daaaaaaay.” 

“How did you know that?” Zim asked suspiciously. He tried not to gag at the nauseating smell of greasy cheese that had congealed into a solid mass on the plate. It looked like an orange version of the containment goo smeets were surrounded with before they were activated. Human food sickened him.

“Ummmm…I dunno!” the robot answered while shrugging his shoulders before giggling at whatever had come on the television. 

Zim grunted and left GIR alone. Sometimes it was best not to ask. “Just try and keep it down,” he said while heading towards the kitchen.

Anyone who entered his home base would see it was perfectly normal. The apartment looked like any of the other human dwellings with the appropriate amount of furniture and decorations. He had even changed the access point for the lab. It was now located right in the middle of the kitchen floor under the ceiling light instead of through the trash can. Standing on the tiles activated the overhead sensors that were keyed to his biosignature. There would be no more “accidents” of unwanted people getting into his lab.

“BIOSIGNATURE, RECOGNIZED!” the computer shouted when Zim was scanned. “ACCESS GRANTED!” 

“Aaaand?” Zim touched his fingertips together to activate a dissolving solution. He ran his fingers under his wig and along the seam of his ears and nose to take off the prosthetics before carelessly tossing them on the kitchen table.

The computer gave a moody sigh. “Access granted to Invader Zim, the greatest of all Irken invaders. The pride of the almighty Tallests and future ruler of Earth, blah, blah, blah.” There was a click and a soft bell before the tiles underneath of Zim suddenly vanished to reveal a circular platform hovering over a long glass tube. Artificial light flickered on that ran the length of the transport tube until it disappeared into darkness so far down that light couldn't penetrate it.

Zim blinked rapidly when his contacts were taken out. “That’s right, and I _ will _gain favor with The Tallests! Just you wait.” He stripped off his human gloves next. He felt a lot happier just having six fingers again. The collar came off last, turning him back into his familiar (and far superior) green skin color. 

“Computer! Show me all the files I have on that human.” The platform hummed and started to descend into the bowels of his lab miles below ground. “First name: Dib. Last name: Who cares! I will destroy him! You hear that, _ Dib _ ? You can’t hide from _ me _ if _ I’m _ hiding from you _ first _ ! You’ll pay, ohhhh you’ll pay _ dearly _ for thinking you can mess up my plans to take over this _ filthy _Earth. I won’t let you. I won’t let yooooooouuuuu!”

Waiting music played as the computer processed the information before a frowning Irken symbol was projected in the room. “Error: File not found.”

Zim growled and stepped forward as metal robotic limbs twisted out in front of him to form a pathway towards his central computer station. “Show me the files on Dib!” he shouted and slammed a closed fist down on the controls.

“Ohhh, that Dib. Why weren’t you more specific? There’s just sooooo many Dibs with that last name,” the computer snarked but obligingly pulled up hundreds of files of video clips, photos, and sound bites that were projected around the main chamber.

Zim took it all in, nodding and scanning and nodding some more while his fingers flicked through the air to close out files and open others. There was Dib eating before throwing water on him. Dib shoving him into lockers and trying to slap handcuffs on him. Dib in his _ base _ shouting how Zim would never win. Dib saying he hates him. Dib ruining his plans _ again. _Dib saying they’ll be enemies for life.

The alien snarled, antenna twitching in anger at all the files of him and the Dib clashing against each other over and over. Clearly, there must be a better way to defeat Dib. He didn’t have the time to antagonize Dib and distract the human from his plans to take over the Earth. “Computer, what’s the opposite of an… enemy?”

“Uhhh, I dunno. I guess a friend?” The voice lowered to a sad mumble, “I wish I had a friend.”

If Zim heard what the computer said then he didn’t acknowledge it. He rubbed his chin in thought. There _ must _ be another way to defeat Dib. “Show me human data on friends,” he demanded. “Wait! No. Not just friends. Show me data on _ special _ friends. The most special of _ all _friends.”

The computer coughed. “I’m not sure that a special friend is-”

“I don’t pay you to question me!” Zim snapped.

“You don’t pay me at all.”

“Show me all the information you have about _ super _special friends,” Zim demanded. “Parameters: Earth male to Earth male friends And do it quickly!” His mind was already whirling with possibilities on this new plan. He didn’t know much about “friends” but he knew that more is best to these humans. Therefore, the more friend the more better.

“Get ready for IZ, _ Dib _ ,” Zim crowed while rubbing his hands together. “I will be the best, most _ special _ and treasured _ friend _ you will _ ever _ have in your _ pathetic _ , _ miserable, life _ .” He couldn’t wait to tell The Tallests about phase two. It would be wonderful, _ oh _so wonderful. “Gloat with me, computer. Gloat with meeeeeeeee.” And then he laughed and laughed and laughed. As much as it disgusted him to lower himself to be close to human filth, he would gain the human’s trust, his secrets and then defeat him once and for all. 

No matter the cost.

\---

Dib was in the skool library during a break between classes, chair tilted back on two legs while he flipped through a paranormal research book. It was an outdated copy, but he had nothing else to do and he really didn’t feel like going back to where he lived. It was a rather nice looking apartment his dad had bought him, but getting it in exchange to not embarrass his father on a global scale (again) soured Dib’s feelings of freedom. Apparently having a son that was ‘insane’ didn’t do well for the scientist’s global image. It was an old hurt but something Dib had been working on with his therapist.

His phone vibrated against the table in the quiet of the library, breaking Dib from his thoughts. He switched it off before digging out his water bottle and medication from his backpack. The last four pills of his anti-seizure prescription rattled in the plastic orange container. He’d have to get it refilled soon, and he mentally added it to the many other things he needed to get done since moving into the city. He sighed and popped one in his mouth before chasing down the bitter taste with water. No one ever told him how much moving sucked. So many-

“Hey!” Dib shouted in surprise when his chair came down hard on all four legs with a sudden jolt. His hand automatically reached back towards his pants pocket only to brush against nothing. The stun discs were back in his locker. That would be the last time he would be unarmed.

“Shh, this is a library.” A skinny black male wearing a black and red striped shirt flipped a chair around and sat on it backwards across from Dib. “Don’t you have any respect?”

“Yeah well, maybe if someone hadn’t kicked my chair I wouldn’t have been so loud.” His heart was still beating hard in an uneven thump. Fucking assholes. He eyed the female who joined the first student. “What do you want?” He wasn’t in the mood to humor anyone. “I don’t really have the time for-”

“We’re here to warn you to stay away from him,” the girl cut in. “He doesn’t take kindly to other people.”

Yep. That’s the end of that. Dib abruptly stood up and pushed his chair back. “Whatever, I’m not going to listen to this.” God, it was just like being transported back to hi skool again. Didn’t anyone ever grow up and _ change _? 

“I think you will,” the girl answered. "Ace." She snapped her fingers and Dib suddenly felt a heavy weight on his shoulders.

A massive, muscular student was behind him. Her large hands pushed down on his collarbones. It made Dib’s knees buckle under the pressure until he collapsed back in his chair. 

“As we said, Johnny and I are asking you nicely to leave him alone.” The first girl narrowed her eyes at him. "Ace doesn't ask as nicely." 

Anger spiked through him, hot and sharp. Dib tried to remember the meditation techniques his therapist recommended. He was not a slave to his emotions. He was in control of his emotions. He was in control of his mind. He was one with humanity.

He breathed out hard through his nose and focused on the girl in front of him. She was dressed a lot like his sister. Same willowy pale build, similar shade of purple hair. Dib made a note to look into his family history and see if there was a sibling he didn't know about. Maybe a clone…? It was enough of a distraction to calm him down so he wasn’t about to fly off the handle and do something he would later regret. “Look, can you just leave me alone? I don’t even know who you’re talking about.”

“IZ.” The tips of Ace's red, pointed fingernails dug into the thin fabric of his shirt to pinch his skin. It was a solid weight keeping Dib trapped in place until she decided to let him go.

“Is what?” he snapped. He didn’t need the college version of hi skool bullies antagonizing him. Who even _ had _bullies in college?

“IZ not is, idiot,” Johnny scoffed and dragged Dib’s book across the table and towards himself. “IZ would be our class President.” He thumbed through the pages but his eyes were still lazily trained on Dib.

“He don’t like people botherin’ him none,” Ace added. “So we make sure he gets it.”

“He likes his privacy.” The book slammed shut before Johnny pushed it away. It slid off the edge of the table and _thumped _to the floor. “So don’t talk to him again.” 

The first girl gave Dib a razor-edged smile. Her black lipstick made her white teeth stand out in stark contrast. “Consider this a warning.” She flicked her long hair over her shoulder with a practiced gesture.

Dib really didn’t have anything to say. Confusion warred with anger as with one final squeeze of his shoulder the group left, melting into the sudden shadows of the secluded library corner he was sitting at. Confusion won out in the end as his gaze landed on a black poster taped to the side of a bookshelf.

“IZ,” he read off the glossy paper. The beginning of something burned inside of him, similar to the thrill of researching a new paranormal phenomenon way back in the day when he was an active member of the Swollen Eyeball. It quietly thrilled him.

He pulled down the poster on a whim as he packed up his stuff. It came away with a ripping sound leaving the four corners still trapped under the clear tape. Dib folded it in quarters and stuck it in his back pocket. He wasn’t sure what the paper could tell him, but hunches were always to be followed. It was one of the core rules when investigating any mystery. Dib knew that IZ was becoming one very quickly. And he had never been one to turn away from a mystery. 

No matter the cost.


	5. Four Eyes and Sixteen Fingers

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Ao3 does something weird with the formatting where it adds extra spaces to italics. It can't be seen in Rich Text because everything looks fine bu in HTML it's weird. It's really hard to see to correct it (particularly since these boys use a lot of italics to speak). So wonky formatting it is. Many apologies.

#  **Chapter 4: Four Eyes and Sixteen Fingers **

Zim pulled up the hood of his sweatshirt as he stepped outside his apartment. It was a misty day out and although he coated himself with glue he still felt more comfortable with the additional layer to protect him against the faint wetness. As soon as he conquered this mud ball he would figure out a way to control the weather so it never rained again. The fact that humans haven’t done it already proved how _ stupid _they all were.

But first was conquering the Dib. Zim had stayed up most of the night watching videos and taking notes on the best way to get to the human. It wasn’t a complete plan yet but it was coming together. Zim just needed more data and fortunately he knew the best way to get it.

A block away from the skool Zim heard muffled footsteps behind him. “IZ.”

“Paine,” Zim answered, not slowing down his pace as he continued walking. “Johnny. Ace.” The three people of his presidential committee were incredibly useful at doing his bidding. They met up with him in the morning to keep him up to date on what was going on at the skool before he entered. “Mission report.”

“Yesterday we warned the new kid to stay away from you,” Paine answered. She fell into step beside Zim. “He shouldn’t be bothering you anymore.”

Surprise curdled his insides to anger. That _ insolent _ foolish girl! “_Why _ did you feel the need to do that?” He was supposed to be _ special friends _ with Dib, _ not _ enemies. The whole thing could be _ ruined _ right before it was even started thanks to his _ useless _bags of goo. 

“We, we thought that’s what you wanted,” Johnny stuttered at the harsh tone. “You told us that-” 

“Don’t tell _me _what I said,” Zim cut in. He stopped short and whirled around to jab one finger at Johnny’s chest. “_I_ gave you this power as my president’s cabinet to carry out _my _orders.” He jabbed his finger again. “It’s not for _you_ to think for _me_ and _ruinmyplansfortheskool!_” he shouted all in a rush. 

“Yeah, well maybe if you gave us more directions,” Ace muttered sullenly. “You hardly ever talk t’ us. How are we supposed t’ know what you want?” She nearly tripped over her own feet when Zim’s hand shot out and grabbed the front of her blouse to drag her down to his level. 

Zim’s eyes narrowed into slits. “You dare? Yooouuu _ daaaaarreeeee _ to challenge _ me! _ Your superior!” Fear crawled through Ace’s eyes and yes, that was good. She _ should _ fear him. His anger was barely leashed, but this was not the time to unload on his _ insubordinate monkeys. _ He was too near the skool and he needed the student body to still think he was in control. “Do as I say or I will… turn your _ guts _ into _ jelly _!” He distastefully shoved her away when she gulped and nodded meekly.

“I want you to follow th- Dib,” he corrected in a more moderate tone while he wiped his hands on the front of his shirt. Stupid, disgusting human germs. “But _ quietly _! Find out more about him.”

“Sure boss,” Johnny said readily. “What should we be looking for?”

Zim looked up in thought as he tried to remember all the information the computer had pulled for him. “Likes. Dislikes. His interests. Stuff like that.” He waved a hand in the air. “Anything you can find out without him knowing. I want to know _ everything _about him.”

“We’re on it,” Paine agreed. She jerked her head to signal that it was time to go. 

“One more thing.” Zim felt three sets of eyes settle on him in expectation. “Tell everyone else to leave him alone.” All the data he collected said that in order to be a super special friend, you had to be the target’s one and only. It should be easy enough for his subordinates to make sure Dib was reliant on him. “Go,” Zim commanded.

The three of them quickly headed towards skool and away from him without another word. Their insubordination still itched under his skin. He would have to address that later.

First he needed to figure out where to find the Dib and declare that they were now friends. Except Zim didn’t know the human’s schedule (not yet, but Johnny was very good with getting confidential information). 

It turned out Zim didn’t need to know because he smacked into the Dib _ again _ and sprawled out on the sidewalk right outside the side entrance of the main building. “RraaAAGGGhhhh _ why _!” he snarled, ignoring Dib’s hand as he got up. He subtly tugged his gloves on more firmly. All extra digits were connected and still worked as they should.

They stood in silence with Zim muttering under his breath while Dib stood there chewing on his bottom lip like the oafish idiot he was. Zim could sense the human wanted to say something, which kept the two of them close together on the sidewalk, but Zim wasn’t sure how to start the conversation either. He’d never had to be nice to the Dib before. 

“I met your little band of friends yesterday, IZ,” Dib said abruptly to cut the awkwardness. The human didn’t sound happy about that. 

“I know,” Zim said quickly. His gaze flicked up into Dib’s face before sliding away again to stare at a point on the ground. “They weren’t supposed to do that.” Was his plan ruined _ already _ when it had barely even begun? No! Of course not. “I was disciplining my subordinates today.”

“You call your friends subordinates?” Dib’s voice was marginally warmer with interest.

“I…,” Zim trailed off and looked uncertainly at Dib. What did humans call each other if not by their category designation? “I don’t have to answer that,” he said instead. Was this Dib trying to pry? Well good _ luck _ trying to catch _ Zim _off guard. “I just… wanted to say it… won’t happen. Again.”

A small smile broke out across Dib’s face. “Apology accepted, IZ.”

Zim’s lips peeled back across his teeth. “I didn’t apologize!” As if _ Zim _ would _ ever _ lower himself to apologize to _ humans _ . Never! “I have to go to class; this conversation is over.” He shoved past Dib because it was either that or try and wipe that stupid, smug smile off of his face and Zim was _ trying _to win Dib over. Which reminded him…

“Hey!” Zim yelled from the top of the steps. Other students flowed around him to get into the building, but they didn’t seem too bothered with him being a roadblock.

“What?” Dib yelled back. He was across the street now about to enter into his own building for class.

Zim pointed between the two of them in a rapid jerking motion. “We’re friends now!” 

Dib’s brows twisted up in confusion. “Whaaaat?” Unlike Zim, Dib was being knocked around by students who were clearly pissed off that he was standing in front of the entrance to building ten.

“We’re friends, _ Dib! _” Zim enunciated slowly. “I declared it!” He didn’t wait for Dib’s response before heading inside with a self-satisfied feeling warming his insides. There, step one done. This was going to be easy.

\---

“How have you been, Dib?” Dr. Katz asked in that low even voice that was comfortingly familiar to Dib. 

Dib shrugged one shoulder. “Fine,” he said and tapped his pencil against the notepad open in his lap. He was sitting at his desk with Dr. Katz centered on his computer screen.

“Oh?” Dr. Katz didn’t raise an eyebrow at him, her expression was carefully blank but polite as usual, but Dib could feel it through the screen anyway. It was a silent invitation for him to share more information. 

“Just busy,” he added. The alien clock ticked in the corner of his bedroom showing he still had fifty minutes left in his bi-monthly sessions with his psychiatrist. Normally he didn’t mind talking to Dr. Katz because she helped a lot, especially during his dark times in hi skool, but he was itching to get back to other things. But continuing his therapy sessions was part of the deal he had made with his dad in order to move out.

“Of course.” The leather of her chair squeaked when she shifted position. “You did move across the country to a new apartment, started college, and are now living on your own. That’s a lot of transitions in a short amount of time that can keep you busy. Have you been settling down all right?”

Dib nodded. “I think so. College is easy but I knew that before I got here.” More than easy; he didn’t even need to read the assigned textbooks to do the work. Most of his time was spent creating his own devices. He was thinking about getting back into paranormal activities and was trying to figure out if IZ would be receptive to the idea. 

“And the students?”

Irritation flashed across Dib’s face before it settled into something more neutral. “Fine,” he answered. His first week at skool had been rough, especially with IZ’s “friends” interaction with him, but after that things had been bizarrely silent. The students by and large hadn’t talked to him unless strictly necessary for assignments. IZ was the only constant who talked to him throughout the past several weeks.

“What’s that smile for?”

“What?” Dib asked reflexively and looked up at the screen.

Dr. Katz brushed a lock of dark curly hair behind one ear. “You went from scowling to a faint smile. I imagine that there must be at least one student that you’re connecting with.”

“I…” he trailed off uncertainly, doodling on his notepad to give his hands something to do. “He’s just someone that… sometimes I hang out with,” he admitted. 

“A friend?”

“No,” Dib answered quickly. “Well, maybe.” IZ had declared it on the steps of building 13. He was a very demanding sort of individual as Dib was coming to find out.

“What are they like?”

An image of a scowling IZ popped into Dib’s head, lips peeled back in a snarl and eyes narrowed while he glared at something. “Short. Pale. A little weird,” he answered. “Unexpectedly funny.” The boy had a quick temper that was easy to provoke. It was something Dib found immensely amusing. IZ didn’t understand basic idioms or cultural norms. Dib suspected the boy might be international but IZ was cagey about his personal life.

“We have lunch together pretty much every time we happen to have classes on the same day,” he continued. Well, more like Dib ate and IZ picked at things and sipped a can of soda. Dib did most of the talking. It didn’t seem like IZ minded too much and would occasionally pepper the conversation with a snarky remark. At first it used to bother Dib until he realized IZ probably just talked that way to everyone, as if he hadn’t had much practice having normal conversations. “We have a group project in the class we share together, and I think we’ll be working as a pair for our mid-term later in the month. So I guess we’ll be seeing more of each other outside of skool.”

“Well I’m glad you’re able to make some genuine connections in your life,” Dr. Katz said. “And it sounds like this person could be a friend. Do you want them to be?”

Dib leaned back in his chair in thought. Did he want friends? He hadn’t really had them growing up. The closest thing to a friend was his sister and the two of them had an on again off again sibling relationship (currently off as they pursued their own passions). The only other person he’d interacted with in his life in a somewhat meaningful way had been Zim and, well, Zim was an alien. What did he know about friendship?

“Dib,” Dr. Katz gently prompted. “Did I lose the connection ri-” her image blurred and paused on the screen mid-sentence. 

“Dammit,” Dib muttered. The internet connection should be stable. Dib paid for the premium service (and then did some work on the network when he got his custom security system online) so it _ shouldn’t _be freezing like this. Maybe it was the platform? Sometimes Dr. Katz would freeze during a session when he still lived at his dad’s place. He always thought it was just the shitty area he lived in that had poor service.

“-ack to it later,” she finished. Her lips moved out of sync of the sound but at least she wasn’t blurry anymore. “I did want to touch base about your health before our time is up, if that’s all right with you?” Her fingers were clicking against her keyboard, no doubt pulling up his file. 

“The medication is helping.” He hadn’t had any seizures in years and only occasionally did he get the odd headache. “There’s been no changes as I’ve mentioned.” 

Dr. Katz nodded and jotted something down off camera. “And are you doing the memory exercises?”

Not as much as he should be, to be honest. “Enough,” he admitted. He still had gaps in his memory from his teenage days but he didn’t think it was important to really know about that period in his life. It was behind him and firmly locked away where he didn’t have to think about it anymore. He was better now. Stronger. “But I think because of the exercises, I actually don’t think I need to take the medication so much anymore.” 

Dr. Katz’s fine eyebrows creased in a slight frown. “I’m not sure if that would be best at this time.” Her image paused and then pixelated before smoothing out again. “You’re still settling in and despite the great progress you’ve been making, I would advise against changing too much at once. How about we check back in about that?”

Except Dib wanted to talk more about that. However, a quick glance at his clock showed they were out of time anyway. “Yeah fine. I’ll talk to you at the end of the month, same time works for me.”

She smiled. “Wonderful, take care Dib. I encourage you to continue to make healthy, meaningful connections with those around you as you settle into this new life. And I’m interested in learning more about your friend.”

_ Me too, _Dib thought and logged out of the session and set his notepad on his desk. It was filled with doodles and random phrases but the thing that stood out the most was IZ’s name popping up across the double page. “Meaningful connections,” he murmured out loud. Well, tomorrow they had class together. Maybe he would invite IZ to hang out with him outside of skool and get to know him better. It was time to try again and make a real friend. He had a feeling IZ could be it.


End file.
